May 2013
112 posts
9 tags
Baby Adolf: Your mommy lives in a nudist colony!
Baby Joseph: Your mommy has sex with fat people in hippie vans!
May 25th
2 tags
“My name’s Baby Marie-Antoinette.”
– Baby Marie-Antoinette
May 25th
4 tags
“I hear all’s not too well on the hippie front.”
– Baby Jong-il
May 25th
1 tag
May 25th
May 24th
189 notes
3 tags
“Democrats piss me off.”
– Cartman
May 24th
4 notes
9 tags
“Drunk straight boys who talk too much on rooftops should be electrocuted.”
– Baby Napoleon
May 24th
2 notes
May 24th
491 notes
17 tags
On Saturday Baby George III was supposed to attend a sort of book release party for two girl authors — Baby Jennifer (Poems are the Only Real Bodies) and Baby Carina (LEMONWORLD & Other Poems). [[MORE]] The party started at 6:30. At 6:00, Baby George III made his mommy, Princess Augusta of Saxe-Gotha, read him the scene in Othello where Iago tell Roderigo, “Put money in thy...
May 23rd
May 23rd
1,543 notes
15 tags
Really soon Bambi Muse is gonna publish JonBenét Ramsey’s Pageant Rhymes Tumblrbook.
May 23rd
4 tags
“I’ve been talking about eating raspberry sorbet more than I used to.”
– Baby Joseph
May 23rd
May 23rd
9 notes
May 22nd
61 notes
12 tags
“So… I hear Mayor Bloomberg’s upcoming Holocaust memoir, Citi Bike,...”
– Baby Adolf
May 22nd
May 22nd
820 notes
9 tags
“Why is Mayor Bloomberg in the process of penning a Holocaust memoir called Citi...”
– Baby Adolf
May 22nd
May 22nd
5 notes
4 tags
“I suspect Martin Sheen is a sorcerer, and not the good kind.”
– Baby Jong-il
May 22nd
May 22nd
12,693 notes
8 tags
“Mayor Bloomberg is carrying a unique strain of bacterial meningitis!”
– Baby Adolf
May 22nd
May 22nd
8,742 notes
May 22nd
21,883 notes
15 tags
A long long time ago, all the Bambi Muse baby despots’ governesses read them the boy poet Paul Legault’s first collection of verse, The Madeline Poems. But Baby Marie-Antoinette wasn’t a part of Bambi Muse then. Now, though, she is. And just a couple of nights ago, while gobbling glamorously away at a soft chewy cherry cream cheese croissant, Baby Marie-Antoinette’s...
May 21st
2 notes
May 21st
24,413 notes
May 21st
20 notes
7 tags
“Girl’s faces always tell on them. They ain’t got any back-bone.”
– Tom Sawyer
May 21st
4 notes
25 tags
Last week Baby Alexander, accompanied by Baby Carina, traveled all the way to Brooklyn (which is basically a whole entire different country, the way Poland is) to attend Becca Klaver’s first What’s So Hot? literary salon of 2013. The journey involved the Uptown C Train, and on it, Baby Alexander  spotted a line of liquid caca running under the seats. Who else would go caca on the...
May 20th
2 notes
May 20th
844 notes
May 20th
3,111 notes
May 20th
1,980 notes
10 tags
“Is Jack Serge related to Jackie Robinson, the first black baseball player in...”
– Baby Idi
May 19th
1 note
8 tags
“Sometimes you just need to dress like a fuzzy pink alien.”
– Baby Marie-Antoinette
May 19th
May 19th
May 18th
7,267 notes
May 18th
1,634 notes
1 tag
“Marilyn Manson is a villain created by people who need him to exist in order to...”
– Marilyn Manson
May 18th
8 notes
May 18th
7,161 notes
17 tags
Once upon a time, a long long long ago, before all of Boston was nearly blown up and every Bostonian, including Robert Lowell, nearly lost their lives, Baby Alexander’s mommy, Olympias of Epirus, read him Spencer Madsen’s English essay about Frank O’Hara. [[MORE]] The essay, composed in verse form, begins with a cat. Frank has a considerable amount in common with cats as Frank is very cute,...
May 17th
2 notes
3 tags
May 17th
13 notes
7 tags
“Lynch dumb hippie liberals and make the world a better place!”
– Baby Idi
May 17th
2 tags
May 17th
8 notes
6 tags
“I want to be on television, just like Lena Dunham is now and Rosie...”
– Baby Jong-il
May 17th
1 note
May 16th
2,051 notes
7 tags
“Could really use a soft cherry cream cheese croissant right about now.”
– Baby Marie-Antoinette
May 16th
1 note
May 16th
24,554 notes
9 tags
“There should be lynchings again and this time it should be the white people who...”
– Baby Idi
May 16th
May 16th
2,189 notes
May 16th
113,846 notes
12 tags
Dear Syria People, If you want the white race to give you tons of attention for being mass killed then you have to be Jewish. Trust me on this one, buddies. xoxo, Baby Adolf
May 15th