Baby Adolf: Your mommy lives in a nudist colony!
Baby Joseph: Your mommy has sex with fat people in hippie vans!
My name’s Baby Marie-Antoinette.– Baby Marie-Antoinette
I hear all’s not too well on the hippie front.– Baby Jong-il
Democrats piss me off.– Cartman
Drunk straight boys who talk too much on rooftops should be electrocuted.– Baby Napoleon
On Saturday Baby George III was supposed to attend a sort of book release party for two girl authors — Baby Jennifer (Poems are the Only Real Bodies) and Baby Carina (LEMONWORLD & Other Poems). [[MORE]] The party started at 6:30. At 6:00, Baby George III made his mommy, Princess Augusta of Saxe-Gotha, read him the scene in Othello where Iago tell Roderigo, “Put money in thy...
Really soon Bambi Muse is gonna publish JonBenét Ramsey’s Pageant Rhymes Tumblrbook.
I’ve been talking about eating raspberry sorbet more than I used to.– Baby Joseph
So… I hear Mayor Bloomberg’s upcoming Holocaust memoir, Citi Bike,...– Baby Adolf
Why is Mayor Bloomberg in the process of penning a Holocaust memoir called Citi...– Baby Adolf
I suspect Martin Sheen is a sorcerer, and not the good kind.– Baby Jong-il
Mayor Bloomberg is carrying a unique strain of bacterial meningitis!– Baby Adolf
A long long time ago, all the Bambi Muse baby despots’ governesses read them the boy poet Paul Legault’s first collection of verse, The Madeline Poems. But Baby Marie-Antoinette wasn’t a part of Bambi Muse then. Now, though, she is. And just a couple of nights ago, while gobbling glamorously away at a soft chewy cherry cream cheese croissant, Baby Marie-Antoinette’s...
Girl’s faces always tell on them. They ain’t got any back-bone.– Tom Sawyer
Last week Baby Alexander, accompanied by Baby Carina, traveled all the way to Brooklyn (which is basically a whole entire different country, the way Poland is) to attend Becca Klaver’s first What’s So Hot? literary salon of 2013. The journey involved the Uptown C Train, and on it, Baby Alexander spotted a line of liquid caca running under the seats. Who else would go caca on the...
Is Jack Serge related to Jackie Robinson, the first black baseball player in...– Baby Idi
Sometimes you just need to dress like a fuzzy pink alien.– Baby Marie-Antoinette
Marilyn Manson is a villain created by people who need him to exist in order to...– Marilyn Manson
Once upon a time, a long long long ago, before all of Boston was nearly blown up and every Bostonian, including Robert Lowell, nearly lost their lives, Baby Alexander’s mommy, Olympias of Epirus, read him Spencer Madsen’s English essay about Frank O’Hara. [[MORE]] The essay, composed in verse form, begins with a cat. Frank has a considerable amount in common with cats as Frank is very cute,...
Lynch dumb hippie liberals and make the world a better place!– Baby Idi
I want to be on television, just like Lena Dunham is now and Rosie...– Baby Jong-il
Could really use a soft cherry cream cheese croissant right about now.– Baby Marie-Antoinette
There should be lynchings again and this time it should be the white people who...– Baby Idi
Dear Syria People, If you want the white race to give you tons of attention for being mass killed then you have to be Jewish. Trust me on this one, buddies. xoxo, Baby Adolf