Illuminati Girl Gang
Baby Jong-il likes girls. They get to wear hairbows. He likes gangs. They’re violent. He really likes the illuminati. They’re elitist. They can get away with murder. So Baby Jong-il is really excited about the first volume of the Illuminati Girl Gang. These are his favorite parts:
Most people, especially American people, are full of shit. Most of their time is spent eating meat. But North Koreans are special. They’re not full of shit. Their tummies are empty. They’re starving.
Tool makes scary, creepy music. The kind that you can build a nuclear weapon to.
Baby Jong-il likes this picture a lot. Animals are cute. They’re much superior to humans. Baby Jong-il isn’t the only who thinks so. Christopher Robin thinks so to. In the poem, “Market Sqaure,” Christopher wants rabbits, but the market only sells things for humans, like saucepans. So Christopher has to go away from the humans to the “old-gold common” to be with rabbits. Also, Baby Jong-il likes gymnasts. Make It Or Break It is one of his favorite telly shows.
Baby Jong-il hates the eye doctor almost as much as America. They blow things in your eyes. Baby Jong-il would rather blow things in their eyes.
Baby Jong-il loves snacks. He likes to eat white cheddar Cheez-Its while watching Elizabeth Taylor movies.
Baby Jong-il: “Because death is a glorious solution to all of your problems.”
posted on May 28, 2012