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The baby despots are: Baby Adolf * Baby Marie-Antoinette * Baby Jong-il * Baby Uday & Qusay * Baby George III * Baby Idi * Baby Joseph * Baby Mary I * Baby Alexander * Baby Napoleon.
The Hounds of No

Once on a tiresomely depressing Saturday, Baby Adolf’s mommy read him The Hounds of No by Lara Glenum at the New York Public Library (the one with the marble lions). These are the parts that Baby Adolf adored the most.

  • The glass coffin, it was clogged with hair: My meaty kept on growing.

The glass coffin was probably produced by liberals. Liberals, like Joe Biden and Hussein Obama, support gay people. A lot of gay people are into bears. Bears are a hairy type of gay people. Baby Adolf doesn’t champion gays. But he doesn’t champion heterosexuals either. Baby Adolf’s goals are above sex. He wants to select who can and can’t live on earth. Once he does this there’ll be no more sex because everyone will have to watch Disney movies 24/7. Also, no one will be allowed to eat meat since everyone will be turned into a vegetarian.

  • Who reeked of sutures & klepto-schooling?
    Who pitched me headlong off the carousel
    at the Happy Asp Petting Zoo?

"The Polish, antisocials who mumble, and probably Chief Justice John Roberts as well," answers Baby Adolf.

  • Sock-Monkey wears the dried-out skins of his enemies as an apron whenever he bakes his famous pink cupcakes. 

Though Lara calls Sock-Monkey a “he,” she’s obviously being subversive because Sock-Monkey is actually a girl. Sock-Monkey is actually Sylvia Plath. Plath adorns the enemy’s skin. Her face is “a featureless, fine Jew linen.” Plath is also adequate at preparing food. Before she murdered herself, she fixed her children milk and bread. 

  • I wrote to Stalin Over the dead sea, the winter sky
    is shredded into holes
    I kept falling through

Baby Adolf doesn’t think Lara should compose letters to Baby Joseph. Baby Adolf thinks Baby Joseph is a “half-man, half-beast.” Baby Adolf will invade Baby Joseph’s country. He will murder thousands of its citizens. Baby Adolf suggest that Lara write to Sock-Monkey/Sylvia Plath instead. Plath’s  poems about the Holocaust are cinematic and theatrical. Baby Joseph won’t make such a spectacle. He’ll make friends with the dull, democratic Americans.

  • 'Defile! Defile' shriek the Obliterati as they vandalize the museum of silence.

All the Bambi Muse babies are members of the “Obliterati.” They want to destroy and annihilate so much. But the babies don’t scream, “Defile!” The babies aren’t defilers: they’re cleansers. The democracy world is an impure place. Each of the babies want to control the entire earth so that it can be clean again.

Black Bow Tie