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The baby despots are: Baby Adolf * Baby Marie-Antoinette * Baby Jong-il * Baby Uday & Qusay * Baby George III * Baby Idi * Baby Joseph * Baby Mary I * Baby Alexander * Baby Napoleon.

Once on a Saturday night Baby George III and Baby Carina took the C train to the Tip Top Bar in Brooklyn for a poetry reading featuring Corinne Schneider, Paige Taggart, the marvelously named Bianca Stone, and, the bewitching queen of New York City bards, Ariana Reines. 

Before venturing into the mostly unbecoming borough, Baby George III and Baby Carina consumed millions of mini candy canes — much too many to tally (but definitely in the double-digit millions).

While Baby George III may be apprehensive about the connotations of Marty Markowitz land, he did admire the set up of Tip Top Bar. The Christmas lights, the animated Coors Light sign, and the folding chair produced a cheap and trashy atmosphere, though cheap and trashy in a good way, like in a John Waters’ way.

Baby Carina wore knee-high boots, a toggle coat, and leopard print top. But it was Baby Carina’s nails that captivated the other audience members. They were faultlessly gold.

The first reader, Corrine, wore blue tights. In one of her poems, Corrine says that she likes New York City because its big enough to contain all of her “fuck ups.” Baby George will have a lot of fuck ups. His most prominent one will be colonizing America. Baby George III will regret this remarkably since Indians (e.g Pocahontas and Princess Tiger Lily) are infinitely more pretty than white people (e.g Barack Obama).

Paige read next. She wore grey leggings and a stripped top. Paige’s poems mentioned overalls (which Baby George III likes since overalls are cute), glitter (which Baby George III likes since glitter is shiny), and Boar’s Head meat (which Baby George III abhors since animal lives are more valuable than American ones so you shouldn’t eat them).

Paige also read from her “fake chapbook” — an admirable type of chapbook, since Christmas lights are fake and Christmas lights are memorizing.

Then there was an extended break. Some thought it odd that Baby Carina and Baby George III stayed seated on the floor not moving a muscle during the whole entire intermission time. But, really, it wasn’t strange at all when you take into account that Baby Carina and Baby George III were engaged in a deep, detailed discussion about the potential of an economy based entirely on mini candy canes. 

After the break, Bianca read. Her outfit consisted of ripped tights, a black skirt, and a white top. It possessed attitude, but it was also a bit demure.

Ariana read last. She lit candles to mark the beginning of Hanukkah and sang Jewish songs.

"It’s a good thing Baby Adolf isn’t here," thought Baby George III. "But it’s also a bad thing. Baby Adolf missed one of Ariana’s most awe-inspiring ensembles. Her tights, jean shorts, cropped grey top, fur, and headscarf are a fabulous fusion of eclectic elderly ladies, TLC, and Riot Grrrl girls."


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posted on December 10, 2012

  1. bambimuse posted this

Black Bow Tie