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The baby despots are: Baby Adolf * Baby Marie-Antoinette * Baby Jong-il * Baby George III * Baby Idi * Baby Joseph * Baby Alexander * Baby Napoleon.

A couple of days ago Baby Jong-il, accompanied by his mommy Kim Jong-suck ventured to Chinatown to see a reading at The Happy Ending Lounge.

On the way to the reading, Baby Jong-il saw a homeless person peeing on the side of a van. This is why Baby Jong-il doesn’t do divine cartwheels for Chinatown. It’s dirty. Also, the Chinese aren’t like the North Koreans: they don’t launch missiles.

When Baby Jong-il arrived he spotted Baby Carina and Baby Stephanie. Baby Carina was sticking her hand into a lit candle. Baby Stephanie was carelessly twirling her trademark braid.

The first reader was Keara Driscoll. Keara wore hoop earrings and cuffed blue jeans. She read her poems in a smoky voice that sort of sounded like an s-e-x-y Demi Moore. One of Keara’s poems featured a shotgun, which made Baby Jong-il think of the admirable Ann Woodward, who shot her high-society husband with one.

Following Keara was none other than Baby Stephanie. Baby Stephanie wore an ankle-length skirt and a wintery scarf. Baby Stephanie said that she could “sculpt a city park out of sorrow.” So could Baby Jong-il. He’s really sad because he wants a banana split and he doesn’t have one.

After a longish intermission Christine Kanownick, bedecked in a blazer, read a poem about how her father is the sea king. When asked if her father was King Triton, Christine respond not in the affirmative, which confounded Baby Jong-il since he is under the unchangeable impression that Ariel’s daddy, King Triton, is the one and only sea king.

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The last reader was the only boy reader, Thomas Dooley. Everyone in the audience noticed Thomas’ nice and bouncy dark hair. But Baby Jong-il took exception with Thomas’ American Apparel shirt. Baby Jong-il has remarkable reservations about the LA-based clothing brand: the first is that the word “America” is in it, and the second is that it’s overpriced.

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