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The baby despots are: Baby Adolf * Baby Marie-Antoinette * Baby Jong-il * Baby Uday & Qusay * Baby George III * Baby Idi * Baby Joseph * Baby Mary I * Baby Alexander * Baby Napoleon.

Once on a malodorous and depressing Wednesday night Baby Jong-il’s mommy read him "#11" a poem by published Baby Carina in PANK 7.04 (which was a long time ago, but so what?). Here’s Baby Jong-il’s close reading of Baby Carina’s lyre.

First thing first, Baby Jong-il basically did back flips for the title — “#11.” 1’s look like missiles. Two 1’s look like two missiles, which Baby Jong-il will someday fire on those atrophied South Koreans as well as those adipose Americans.

"Stop eating ten pounds of undercooked beef before teatime, Barack Osama bin Laden Obama!” screams Baby Jong-il. “Stop it instantly!”

Baby Carina’s composition contains a considerable amount of hash tags, brackets, and this symbol — @. Is Baby Carina issuing social commentary or is she simply being bratty? Baby Jong-il wagers the latter, and that’s lovely.

"#getwhatIwant," sings Baby Carina. "#wifebeatersonwomen," she trills. 

What Baby Jong-il wants is to starve everyone who smells of diarrhea (that’s gross). He also wants to look at Google images of girls in wife beaters (they’re sassy). 


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posted on December 21, 2012

  1. bambimuse posted this

Black Bow Tie