The Hunger Games
Once upon a time on a Saturday night Baby Jong-il, Baby Stephanie, and Baby Carina viewed the film adaptation of the sensational novel The Hunger Games.
There are many ways in which the three babies could’ve have spent their Saturday night. They could’ve boarded a train to Brooklyn and had unprotected s-e-x with an intolerably sensitive boy bedecked in plaid, or they could’ve begun preparing for the second inauguration of America’s first openly gay president, but, obviously, watching a movie is the most marvelous and commendable choice.
Baby Jong-il and Baby Carina both thought kind thoughts about the movie. Baby Carina believed it to be visual striking, and the fashion of the Capitol reminded Baby Jong-il of the gaudy prettiness of a John Galliano collection.
Baby Stephanie, though, was quite confounded by the cinematic work of art.
"Is Jennifer Lawrence soulless?" asked Baby Stephanie, despairingly.
Baby Carina replied that the state of Jennifer’s soul probably isn’t the primary point of the film.
Baby Jong-il isn’t concerned with any one’s soul, Jennifer Lawrence’s or otherwise. If you are a tenacious beauty then you are all-right in Baby Jong-il’s book.
But is Jennifer Lawrence a lovely-looking girl?
Here, Baby Carina and Baby Stephanie concurred that Jennifer wasn’t a traditional cinematic beauty, but to them that made her all the more enchanting.
Baby Carina and Baby Stephanie also concurred that Jennifer’s costar, Josh Hutcherson (Peeta), wasn’t a wonderful-looking boy. Baby Jong-il was outraged at this assessment. Baby Jong-il thought Josh was thoroughly cute. He has bangs, and he’s most likely the type of boy who listens to Taking Backing Sunday or something similar.
Baby Carina and Baby Stephanie had a favorable assessment of Jennifer’s brotherly type friend Gale (Liam Hemsworth). But Baby Jong-il couldn’t be more disapproving of Liam. Liam looks like the kind of faux lumberjack boy one would encounter in Brooklyn — the kind who prattles on about yoga and women’s issues and then persuades you to have unprotected s-e-x with him.
After discussing some other topics, Baby Stephanie declared The Hunger Games movie “a bad poem.”
Then Baby Carina reminisced rather fondly about reading The Hunger Games under the tutelage of the utterly formidable Fence poetess Joyelle McSweeney. All three of the movie-watchers agreed that the pertinacious Joyelle would suffer zero vexations if she was put into a role similar to that of Katniss Everdeen.
Finally, a quiz was taken to see which district everyone would hail from. Baby Carina and Baby Stephanie would’ve been residents of the Capitol, so they would’ve been exempt from The Games. As for Baby Jong-il, he didn’t need to take the quiz. He would’ve volunteered to take part in them since he absolutely adores extremely violent and cutthroat circumstances.