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The baby despots are: Baby Adolf * Baby Marie-Antoinette * Baby Jong-il * Baby Uday & Qusay * Baby George III * Baby Idi * Baby Joseph * Baby Mary I * Baby Alexander * Baby Napoleon.

Once upon a time on a very depressing night Baby Jong-il watched the biopic of the homosexual serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer (played by Academy Award nominee Jeremy Renner).


The very first scene in the movie takes place in a chocolate factory. Besides firing missiles at pussy ass South Koreans, consuming chocolate is Baby Jong-il’s most admired activity. Baby Jong-il could very well scarf down a Snickers for breakfast, a Baby Ruth for lunch, and then for dinner a Butterfinger.

But chocolate isn’t enough to please Jeffrey. Jeffrey needs sodomy, so Jeffrey visits a gay club, drugs various gay people’s drinks, then rapes them. Baby Jong-il believes s-e-x is gross, consensual or otherwise.  S-e-x involves body parts, and those, alas, aren’t made of chocolate. So Baby Jong-il thinks Jeffrey is wrong for raping, but he also thinks the victims are contemptible for putting themselves in the position to be raped in the first place.

Of course, Jeffrey doesn’t just rape boys, he also kills them and drills holes in the heads. Drilling holes in some one’s head isn’t the worse thing in the world. To Baby Jong-il, it sounds kind of amusing; it’s sort of like a game — like Operation.


Some of Jeffery’s victims include an Asian boy, a black boy with dreadlocks, and a white boy pothead. Again, Baby Jong-il feels little to nothing for these boys. They should know better than to keep the company of a rapist.

Jeffrey will eventually be caught and murdered in prison. But Jeremy will continue to live and star in movies with Tom Cruise and Ben Affleck, and one that’s even directed by a girl.

Black Bow Tie