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The baby despots are: Baby Adolf * Baby Marie-Antoinette * Baby Jong-il * Baby Uday & Qusay * Baby George III * Baby Idi * Baby Joseph * Baby Mary I * Baby Alexander * Baby Napoleon.

Once on a Saturday night (16 Feb. 2013, to be specific) Baby Joseph and Baby Carina journeyed to Queens.

Baby Carina looked like an adorable 90s Evergreen riot grrrl in cutoffs, tights, and a fluffy furry Patagonia. Baby Joseph adorned a Patagonia too; in fact, he wore two Patagonias, because Baby Joseph comes from Russia, so he knows how to prepare for cold weather (Baby Carina isn’t from Russia, by the way).

So… why did Baby Carina and Baby Joseph brave frosty temperatures, lashing winds, and desolate streets? Did they do so to meet their respective Prince Charmings? No. They were going to celebrate the release of 6x6, the lit journal published by Ugly Duckling Presse.


The celebration was in a big warehouse with picnic benches, basketball hoops, disco balls, and bathrooms.

Baby Carina tried to capture the glamor of the disco ball with her iPhone, but, alas, some things are too glamorous to be documented by an Apple technological gadget.

As for Baby Joseph, he played basketball. Now, when in Russia, Baby Joseph usually plays basketball against wolves (actual wolves, since the humans are too emaciated to play). But there weren’t any wolves at this party, so Baby Joseph invented some and played three games against them, and won all three games.

Then, after all this, the reading started.

The first reader had a poem called “Portrait of Ron Silliman.” Ron is an  arrogant asshole who Baby Joseph would proudly dispatch to a gulag. The poem, in a more understated way, reflected Ron’s unbecoming reputation.

The next reader read a poem that derived its title from an email sent to him by a porn website.

The third poet wore a mullet, like the kind David Spade sports in Meet Joe Dirt.

The fourth reader was a girl named Grace, who wore a formal beige coat.

The last reader wore a coat too, but his was black, and had his collar up.

The reading was hosted by UDP editor, Matvei Yankelevich. Matvei wore a scarf and a corduroy blazer. 

Black Bow Tie